Stable Genius Tweeting

 

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This has become the new normal, how we now gain information, insight and inspiration from the purported commander in chief.  So a Swedish environmental activist says Trump does not give a rat’s ass about the environment, he gets on Twitter and squeals like a little bitch about how a 16 year old girl was really, really mean to him.

His Twitter feed is page after page of some really scary shit.  Add a greasy shake-down of the president of Ukraine and the absolute panic in the White House to bury the whistleblower complaint and hide the phone logs, and you get the coveted Abuse of Power and Obstruction of Justice Hall of Fame nomination.  I’m thinking impeachment is too little, too late.

Conspiracy Meeting

Conspiracy

Devin Nunes has totally and irreversibly lost his shit.  He’s suing his cows and Twitter for defamation, he’s lobbing lawsuits at CNN and there are doubtless more actions rattling around in his little noggin to hit back at still more dastardly bovines and their nefarious plots.  Yes, Devin uses language like that.  On live TV.  In front of millions.  Nice job big guy, you’re channeling Snidely Whiplash.  One news site said that in the action Nunes brought against his cows, defendants mooved for dismissal because cows do not have fingers, and therefore they could not have typed the allegedly defamatory comments on Twitter.  That is absolutely bombproof legal reasoning, but there’s a chance I may have read it wrong.  Regardless, I’m afraid the court will have to concur because Mr Nunes’ underlying legal argument is, inter alia, barfed out to the max, and there is, therefore, no actionable tort.  Moo baby, moo.

Subterranean Homesick Blues

King Rat al-Baghdadi V3 Text

I’m sure they all started out with good intentions.  Back in November 2016, I posted a photo of the final scene in “Scarface”, where Al Pacino opens fire on the murderous thugs rushing towards him, and I wrote a caption suggesting it depicted Trump’s last day in the White House.  “Ha, ha, ha!” I thought.  That was a hurtful thing to say, for which I apologize.  But it was oddly prescient.   King Rat likes theatrics, but he is also a subterranean fuck, reticent, like al-Baghdadi.  William Barr ignored warnings about the fate of Nixon’s AG, John Mitchell, so I’m sure he would not heed further advice, least of all from me (and frankly, he should not), but I do not think it would be prudent to go into that last blind tunnel with King Rat in a suicide vest behind me.

Shithole Countries

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An updated version of one of my favorites with a more accurate quote.  Yes, this was in a conversation referring specifically to people from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries.  Just in case anyone in the room was unclear what he meant, he added that what we needed were people from Norway.  We were so horrified Trump was suggesting policies to keep America white.  It isn’t a suggestion, it’s another brick in the wall.

Pa Drumpf Exonerated! You Just Can’t See The Evidence.

Damn Fool Boy Color

Yes, the Mueller Report clears him.  Totally.  We just can’t see it.  He’s a self proclaimed genius, we just can’t see his grades.  He’s a self proclaimed business god, we just can’t see his tax returns.  It’s not like this wasn’t foreseeable.  The signs have been there all along.  Like Bernie Madoff.  Kenneth Lay.  Jim Jones.  This is really the symptom of the problem, which is apparently the total failure of our educational system.  Collectively we are so fucking stupid we are getting exactly what we deserve.  You suppose people are going to figure out China isn’t paying the tariffs, it’s the American consumer?  Not a chance.  Or maybe that Bolton, who was such a freak he was fired by the Bush/ Cheney Fake WMD Foreign Policy Team is once again puffing up reality and banging the drums of war for an attack on Iran?  Don’t be absurd.